


What's Here is Real

by YaYaSestrahood



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaYaSestrahood/pseuds/YaYaSestrahood
Summary: A moment of calm after Helena's babies are born.





	

“This is Grace?” Sarah asked. Her heart jumped as the newborn grasped her finger.

“Iryna,” Helena corrected.

“Oops. Sorry, Iryna.” She wriggled her finger against Iryna’s hand, beaming brightly.

Her eyes flitted between the two matching faces in the two matching bassinets. They were really here. She hadn’t even had a sister a year ago. Now she had two nieces. 

“I think they like you,” Helena noted.

“Yeah. Think I like them too,” Sarah said. The other twin’s hand seemed to reach out for her, and she was more than happy to take it. 

“Hey, Grace,” she whispered, gentle as she could.

She heard what sounded like fidgeting from behind her. Turning back, she saw Helena nervously perched on the edge of Mrs. S’s couch, where Sarah had practically had to force her to sit down. Her eyes were fixed on her children, and she shook with the effort of keeping them open.

“Meathead, you’re exhausted.”

Sarah stepped back, taking a seat next to her sister.

“C’mere.”

She extended an arm out, receiving only a blank stare in return. Sighing, she wrapped her arm around Helena, gently pulling at her until her head fell onto Sarah’s shoulder. Her body remained completely stiff.

“You can relax, yeah? I’m here. S is in the kitchen. They’ll be alright.”

Helena let her eyelids fall. Her body slowly softened, sinking into something calm. 

“Sestra,” Helena mumbled, already half-asleep.

“Yeah.”

“Were you scared? After you had Kira?”

Sarah’s chest tightened. 

_ Yes.  _ She’d been terrified. That she’d made a mistake, that her life was over, that she could never be what Kira needed. It was the second lowest point of her life.

The lowest was when she stopped worrying about Kira at all.

“Hey,” Sarah said, instead of any of that. “What are you scared for? You’re good with kids. Didn’t you tell me that?”

“Yes,” Helena said. She paused. 

“But I held them, and I saw their faces, and I saw how they looked at me.”

Her voice wobbled, unsteady. She cleared her throat.

“I’m scared they will see what I am.”

Sarah drew a sharp breath. She felt the sudden sting of tears in her eyes.

“Helena…”

“I want for them to be better than me.”

Sarah clung tight to Helena’s shoulder. She placed her chin against her head. A tear trickled down her cheek.

“You just have to love them,” she said. “Just be there for them and love them. You’ll be an amazing mum. Hell of a lot better than I was.”

Helena’s arm folded itself around Sarah’s.

“Okay,” Helena whispered.

“And y’know I’ll be here.”

Helena cocked her neck up to look at Sarah, a curious look on her face. Sarah realized with a sickening knot in her stomach that maybe it wasn’t as obvious as she’d made it sound. That Sarah wouldn’t leave. That Sarah wouldn’t run.

“I mean it.” And she did. “For them and for you. Always.”

A smile tugged at Helena’s lips. Sunlight bounced off the pools in her eyes. Sarah couldn’t help it; she smiled back. Helena’s head dropped like she’d been holding it up for days. She was asleep in an instant.

Sarah lay her head back, sighing contentedly. The sunbeams streaming through the window were warm at the back of her neck. She listened to her sister breathing peacefully by her ear, to the soft murmuring of her nieces, to the distant clinking of dishes from the kitchen. It all felt like home.


End file.
